I’m sure a question on a lot of stoners’ minds is “How do I pass a drug test?” when it’s time for their next job interview. Some insurance companies even make you get tested before they’ll insure you. Hospitals test new mothers for illegal drugs as well, to make sure the baby isn’t in any sort of danger.

I recently came across an ‘article’ on what’s supposed to be an informational blog about marijuana that really irked me. Instead of simply stating, “No, there is not” and bashing everything, why don’t you take the time to do some research? Passing a drug test while you’re doing drugs isn’t easy, but it is possible, depending on the kind of test.

There are four main types of drug tests: urine, saliva, hair and blood. The most common of these are urine and saliva. I’ve only heard of hair tests being done in the military, and blood tests are usually done in the hospital.

Urinalysis

By law, employers are allowed to require that workers submit to a urine or saliva test to be considered for and/or retain their employment, but the ADA makes it illegal for them to do so without first making a conditional offer of employment.

This is, by far, the most common test. It is also one of the the easiest to pass. You can:

• Chug water to dilute the toxins in your system. Be careful if you choose this method, because a flag will go up if the urine is too diluted and you will either fail or be required to retake the test.
• Load up on poppy seeds! In 1998, the SAMHSA raised the recommended cutoff level used in the NIDA 5 test from 300 ng/mL to 2,000 ng/mL in order to avoid false positives from poppy seeds. You would need to eat an entire loaf of poppy seed bread to for it to register as a false positive, but it can be done. It was even proven on MythBusters when Adam tested positive half an hour after eating a poppy seed cake and Jamie tested positive an hour after eating some poppy seed bagels.
• Substitute the urine sample. If you have a friend that doesn’t do any drugs, ask them to pee in a cup for you. Keep the sample in an airtight, refrigerated container for no longer than two days. After two days, it starts to grow bacteria that can be mistaken for a urinary tract infection. When it’s time to take the test, heat the urine up to 92 – 100° F (33 – 37° C).
• Use synthetic urine. Synthetic urine comes in two forms: liquid and powder. Both are kept in their container with a temperature meter and, like using a friends’ urine, should be submitted to the testing facility at 92 – 100° F (33 – 37° C).

Tips for Taking a Urine Test:

• A lot of testing facilities will have you change into a hospital gown before going into the bathroom. If you’re substituting the urine, either have it tied around the top of your leg or fit snugly in your pocket.
• NIDA 5 is the most common drug test used, and tests for the following drugs: THC, Methamphetamines, Opiates, Crack/Cocaine
• Try to get in and out of the bathroom in under four minutes. Any longer than that, and you start to look suspicious.
• Secondhand smoke will not cause you to fail a drug test.
• Adding bleach to the sample will only change the and flag it as being tampered with, resulting in you failing. Drinking bleach will blind and probably kill you. Just say no! Also, commercial chemicals containing nitrates (Urinaid, THC Free, Klear, Urine Luck, TestKlear, etc.) are all commonly tested for, and will result in a failed drug screen.
• There are tons of different herbal supplements and body cleanser pills and drinks. Some work, some don’t – It depends on the person, really. I’ve known several people to try this method and the outcome was about half and half.

Saliva Screening

Saliva and oral fluid-based tests generally detect drug use up to three days prior to taking the test. These tests are becoming more and more popular due to their convenience, low cost and the ability for the employer to administer the test right on the job site.

When taking this test, the administrator will hand you the collection device and instruct you to put it between your gums and cheek and rub it around a little, before leaving it in place for a full two minutes. Once the two minutes are up, he or she will instruct you to take it out of your mouth and place it back into the tube as far as it will go. The instructor is not touch the device in any way until you place it in the vial, screw it closed, and seal it in a tamper proof bag.

Passing this test is extremely easy:

• It is recommended that you not smoke for at least 3 days before the test. This isn’t an absolute necessity, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
• Brush your teeth very well and rinse with Listerine before you leave for the test.
• When instructed to rub the paddle on your gums, instead rub it slightly on your teeth. Afterward, when told to keep the paddle between your gums and cheek, instead hold it lightly between your top and bottom teeth.

I personally have used this method twice during job interviews and passed both tests with flying colors. The first time, I took one hit off of a bowl before bed during the week before the test. The second time, I even smoked the morning of the test before I brushed my teeth.

Hair Tests

When drug metabolites are in the blood, they’ll end up in the blood vessels, and get filtered through the hair. The drug metabolites stay in the hair as a record of drug use for several months, showing the toxins a person may have used in a time-line fashion. The hair test requires cutting several 1 inch strands of hair, as close to the root as possible, usually from the crown of the head. Body hair (from the face, chest, or underarm) can also be used. Masking hair is useless, as the sample is washed to remove left in products and external contamination.

This can be much harder if cocaine or synthetic drugs are used by dark haired people as it is the melanin (hair color) that is the carrier, not the keratin (hair). Repeated use in dark haired people is almost impossible to reduce below detectable levels. Treatment with toxin removal and a consultation with a professional laboratory technician with the knowledge of Hair Structure are essential to increase your chances of passing. Regular smokers should use a clarifying shampoo regularly to remove toxins that are excreted daily from scalp.

Of course, the easiest and best way to pass a drug test is to not do drugs, but for some people that’s just not possible. In those cases, it is important to know your rights and the procedure of the test being performed so you can pass the test without getting busted.

After all the victories we’ve seen in the realm of marijuana law reform and the recent election, it is now time to act! According to the NORML blog, “The election of Barack Obama, coupled with Democrat control of both the House and the Senate, presents a unique and critical opportunity for federal marijuana law reform.” A vast majority of you voted to change the laws regarding marijuana arrests; now is the time to make sure your vote doesn’t go unnoticed.

Obama’s transition team has established a website recently with an agenda of things to be addressed once Obama is in office. Looking at the current list, I was upset to see that Marijuana Law Reform is not even mentioned. Thankfully, the website has a page asking for OUR ideas to help solve challenges facing our country.

That means it’s up to us to get Marijuana Law Reform on the list! All you have to do is go to the page linked above to contact Obama and his transition team, and demand change of the current marijuana policy. Thanks to the wonderful people at NORML, you can even include the three suggestions below:

1. President Obama must uphold his campaign promise to cease the federal arrest and prosecution of (state) law-abiding medical cannabis patients and dispensaries by appointing leaders at the US Drug Enforcement Administration, the US Department of Justice, and the US Attorney General’s office who will respect the will of the voters in the thirteen states that have legalized the physician-supervised use of medicinal marijuana.

2. President Obama should use the power of the bully pulpit to reframe the drug policy debate from one of criminal policy to one of public health. Obama can stimulate this change by appointing directors to the Office of National Drug Control Policy who possess professional backgrounds in public health, addiction, and treatment rather than in law enforcement.

3. President Obama should follow up on statements he made earlier in his career in favor of the decriminalization of marijuana by adults by calling for the creation of a bi-partisan Presidential Commission to review the budgetary, social, and health costs associated with federal marijuana prohibition, and to make progressive recommendations for future policy changes.

As if this hasn’t been said enough – This is the time for change! I cannot urge you enough to write this letter to the President Elect and get Marijuana Law Reform on the agenda. You already showed that it’s what you want by voting for it in the election – Now is time to make your voice heard and tell them why and how!

To expand on my previous post, on November 4, 2008, nine out of ten marijuana-related ballot initiatives were passed.